I'M TIRED OF THIS GAME.

Image by Ed Yourdon via FlickrA young, blind woman once said to me "I'm tired of this".  She had been blind from glaucoma since she was a two year old and it was too late by the time they diagnosed her.  I heard what she said but didn't HEAR her.  Now I seem to fully understand her plight.  I talked with a soon-to-be mother and understood her feeling of wanting to get done with this 9 month pregnancy.  She was tired of this.  

As I age, I look at much older people and see that same feeling reflected on their beings.  It's a 'human thing' I guess and those of us who have challenges from early on may experience it earlier in life.  Knowing how easy it is to get tired of the same old routine, I must look for some excitement or change or most important, SOMETHING TO LOOK FORWARD TO in order to keep myself on the straight and narrow regarding, diet insulin and exercise.

It can be as simple as going to a dance, going away on vacation or even volunteering at the senior center.  When I know I'm going dancing, it makes it easier to be sure my diet is controlled because I want to feel pretty in my clothes.  If you're only around the house or even going to work, you tend to wear the same type of clothing.  

Regarding exercise.  Now that I'm older and not 'running around' as I did when I was young with work, children, husband, yard work etc., I find I have to vary my exercise routine.  Wearing a pedometer is very helpful to me.  It's almost a challenge in itself.  I try to find routes to take when walking that are new so I can see how far, or how many steps more or less it is on a new route.  Of course if it's raining or uncomfortable outside there's always the treadmill!

I know you can all relate to this.  Sometimes the exercise only allows me to have ONE  14 carb cookie if I'm looking for a treat!  cheeee.  That's if I'm having a 'lazy' day.

Sometimes I have a day when I say, "The heck with it" and have more than I'm supposed to eat. I just hate to admit this but there are also times when I just  'pig out'.  I do notice that it's at a time when I am having high blood sugars, often without obvious reason, that my discipline slips.  I'd be ashamed to tell you how much or what I eat but I will say that through all the years, I had an occasional WHOLE strawberry shortcake.  I did find by doing that occasionally (maybe every few years or so...yes, years.) that if I just gave in and satisfied the craving completely, I would be able to get back to GREAT discipline quickly.  If I didn't satisfy it, I'd just nibble and pick and never be satisfied and never get back to the straight and narrow.  For ME, remember, I'm only talking about my own experience, the guilt is so great that I can maintain balance for a long time.  thus, I don't have that weight gain and high blood sugars for such a long time with picking.  Get it over with is what works for me.  I suspect the high blood sugar or whatever psychological force that makes one have a craving is the culprit.  A consistent preferred blood sugar helps stop cravings for me. 


I'm looking forward to the sun coming out and the fog lifting so I can walk to a 'far away' store this morning  and get the steps built up on the pedometer, do a chore and look forward to looking sleek in my red jump suit for a Valentine's Day dance in a few weeks.  Nice to have something to look forward to!


See you next time.