JUST DO YOUR OWN THING

Image via WikipediaRemember I said it was better to just keep your own counsel regarding your diabetes?  I mentioned I had not 'advertised' about being a diabetic to people and just 'did my thing'?

Well, here's another reason to do so.  Ever since I have been involved with a wonderful group of people, I have enjoyed social outings with them.  Quite often we'll go to a movie or to someone's home or even to a local restaurant.  A gentleman I was seeing told a person in this group that I was a diabetic. The only reason I told HIM, was the fact we were seeing one another quite regularly and going places at a distance and I felt it was probably best for him to know.  Well the person he told suddenly  became my 'monitor'.  She is no longer with this particular group but I notice a subtle change.  

A few members have been diagnosed with diabetes; one with Type I and one with Type II.  I have offered them my help if they desire it when they commiserated with me knowing I dealt with the same challenge.   I also mentioned I would not be criticizing them or even 'watching' what they ate or didn't eat when we were together because I know we all have different needs and sometimes what we're doing doesn't have to make sense to another.  They continue to say things such as "Oh, I didn't have bread this morning so I can have popcorn now at the movie, or other excuses about what they're eating.  I DON'T CARE!  I AM NOT THEIR MONITOR!  Because THEY are doing this, THEY seem to be a little resentful.  I don't know what to do about this. 

I have a hard time just doing my own thing now because whenever I say "No, thanks", one of them might say "Well, it doesn't have sugar in it, or "Aren't we allowed to have all we want of this?"  It has become a problem because t hey act as though I'm being a 'goody two shoes" while they're eating all this stuff.  Note here is that they're both overweight.  I believe I understand what dieters say when people try to undermine them whenever the dieter says "No thanks."

I often feel as though I should ge tout of this group.  I am beginning to see them less often.    I still enjoy their company but it's becoming more of a chore because food is not my entertainment and it seems that it has become a focal point with all these people. that was not the case when I first connected with them.   I'm not sure what to do.  I have asked those who are 'monitoring' what I eat or drink or asking "Are you allowed to eat that? You only ate this much or that" to stop noticing what I do, but it seems to be hard for them.

In writing this I think I've come upon a solution.  I'm not sure what the outcome will be but.....the next time someone makes a comment about what they are eating or why they are eating it I'll have two options.  

  I'll say,  1.  "Tell Mary" (or use someone else's name.

They'll say "Why?"

I'll say,  (2) "Why are you telling me?"

I'll let you know what happens.  It may be I'll have to find another group.  Or not...........maybe we'll just laugh.